hello for a long time

guess i was so bored at home until i write again.
oh hello, Assalamulaikum.

last post was on December and now already near the end of May. wondering where i have been. busy handling myself, my life. and i did not even shock if nobody drop by reading my blog, i know it's boring. well i guess i can start writing it back, as now i have such a long holiday. if i not-so-lazy enough to type down all the unsaid things.

fyi, now i already finished my matriculation program about a month ago. hooray! such a good feeling to come back home even though it is so hard to say goodbyes to all my friends. definitely gonna miss them a lot. nobody like to say goodbyes but life must go on. a lot happen during the times at kmm, a lot. some were the best feeling yet there were a few heartbreaks happen. but Alhamdulillah, i thankful enough to get through all of it with patience.

time flies and i stay at home about a month already. no part-time job, just busy helping my mom at home. maybe this June got to find a job because being bored is so boring. -.-
oh and yes just another one day left only for my final exam result to come out. i truly, definitely and positively scared. 29 May answer everything. hoping, praying everything gonna be alright. hope i get what i want. i just want to make my parents happy. that's all is matter to me right now. have to make them proud of me.

but yeah this anxious feeling always appear during this time, and then all the negative thoughts get all packed inside my brain, as a result i became totally freak out and not thinking positively. Ya Allah, please make my heart calm, make it easy and do not make it difficult and make it end well. only You can make it happen.
we plans our life, but Allah has a greater plan for us, even more beautiful. 'seek help through patience and prayers' and always have faith.

i write long enough. maybe will continue later, insyaAllah if i get some inspiration to write again. Bye.

reflection of mine

so i have the urge to write something here. good for me. Assalamualaikum readers.

i guess it will be like another 4 days when i'm totally change to 18yearsold. hey there new life, and then new year is coming. i pray i become a good person every single day.

as i reflect myself and look back to the younger side of my life, sometimes i do proud of what i have achieve now. but sometimes that feeling come again, what i mean is it supposed that when i have reach this one stage of my life, i should have done something good, something better. looking at others who already achieve thousand of new experience in their life, is quite a heartbreak for me.

and remember for what i have done in the past few years back of my life especially mistakes were really made me want to knock myself on the wall. remembering that was the saddest part of my life. really regrets for all the mistakes. if i have a time machine, i would probably will undo all my mistakes but sadly, time machine does not exist. well, people are not perfect and we do mistakes. that is life.

but good and sweet memories really make me don't want to grow older. because everyday life will get complicated, me myself and i will get complicated. and i will see the world a complicated place. i don't want that. really. 

But life must go on. As i grow older, i must be more matured, wiser than before. and for sure i hope everything i do will bring me closer to Allah S.W.T. striving for Jannah. a better muslimah in the future, InsyaAllah.

for now, everything were just in their good way, i really happy with my life and keep on chasing all of my dreams. without my love ones, i will never be strong enough to face the hardship of my life. i love them all to infinity. :) 

"Ya Allah, forgive me for all my mistakes that i have done. and i am doing the best i can to become a better muslimah."

i hope in this new age of mine, i can find happiness more, strengthen my relationship with my family and friends, giving the best i can to make the person that i love happy, increase me with knowledge, see the world more, make my parents proud and finally find peace and serenity inside and outside. 

Embrace Change. 

till the next post, insyaAllah. salam.